Cover Snark: Volkswagen Babies & Ol’ Slender Fingers

You feel that? That’s the feeling of Cover Snark, just waiting to be read and enjoyed. That’s what that is!

A Lost Baby for the Widowed Bride by Faith Johnson. A pretty brunette from the bust up is in front of wild west scene. A gigantic baby head has been photoshopped resting its head on her shoulder. This baby's head is bigger than the woman. Easily.

From Jennifer. Thanks, Jennifer!

Sarah: I think I know where the baby is. I’m rather surprised she doesn’t.

Amanda: Is the baby lost, so he/she contacted a mail order bride in order to be found?

RHG: Too bad we didn’t have this one for the Mail Order Bride Rec league.

Sarah: Is this also a secret baby romance? If the baby is lost, is it a secret, or vice versa?
That would be some powerful trope combination.

Amanda: I mean, the baby isn’t exactly secret? His head is the size of a Volkswagen. It also creeps me out that the photoshop did a decent job of having the baby’s head resting on the heroine’s shoulder.

RHG: The heroine looks a little like Keira Knightly, doesn’t she?

Sarah: She’s being crushed by a giant Photoshop baby, it’s true.

Keira Knightley, yes. Or Penelope Cruz.

Amanda: She looks more like Katie Holmes to me.

Sarah: Oh good call. Very true.

Amanda: Also, the more I stare at her, the longer her neck seems.

Sarah: Oh yeah, her neck is troubling me, too. I keep measuring my own.


Maybe by Lita Stone. It looks like a woman is milking a man's tie into a chocolate cupcake. There's also brown splatter on the man's suit.

Amanda: Upon first glance, I thought she was milking his tie into the cupcake.

RHG: …I don’t think that is accidental.

Sarah: I think the cupcake is…doing something cupcakes don’t typically do?

CarrieS: Did she just yank a dagger out of that cupcake and stab him in the neck? Are sure this is a romance?

Elyse: That cupcake probably isn’t safe to eat now. Why would you ruin a perfectly good cupcake like that?

Breaking Rules by S.B. Alexander. A woman and man are beneath a pier. He's holding her face in his hands and kissing her cheek, but the only reason why he's kissing her cheek is because she's actively turning away from him.

From an anonymous duo.

Amanda: She’s clearly trying to make a break for it.

Sarah: It is difficult to say who is more uncomfortable at this moment, the person in the white shirt or me.

CarrieS: That’s not what I’d call enthusiastic consent. Also, I’ve been at the base of many a pier, and let me tell you, it doesn’t smell very romantic down there.

Sarah: I just guffawed and scared the cat. That is very true. It’s a stinky place.

Elyse: That is clearly a “Whoa? What did you have for lunch today?” face.

Ramping Up by Zoe Dawson. A dude in a leather jacket is sitting. He's resting his hand on a skateboard that's propped up vertically. His fingers are startlingly long. If there was a comparison, they might be the length of banana or perhaps a short zucchini.

Amanda: Look at those noodly fingers.

Are they super long to anyone else?

RHG: Super long.

Elyse: Whoa. No. Do not like.

That’s like some Slender Man shit

CarrieS: The only problem I have is trying to figure out if he’s a teen or if he’s supposed to be a grown man who skateboards. Skateboards are great so I don’t know what my problem is, but the idea of a 25 year old still skateboarding seems not right.


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