Cover Snark: U Pick Jonas Orchards

Buckle up for some Cover Snark, everyone!

A Whirlwind of Color by Icy Smoak. A dude with a greasy pompadour is crouching down in a field of yellow flowers.

From NCK: Why are his edges showing? It looks like his hair was pasted on.

Sarah: I remain hesitant to go near his hair. Perhaps it’s the light or the yellow shading, but I fear it may be radioactive.

Amanda: Is that a Jonas brother?

Sarah: I thought the same thing!

Amanda: Maybe that field is where they grow ’em. Like little cabbage patch babies.

Sarah: The Jonas Patch?

Amanda: Sounds about right.

Pick your own personal Jonas in our state of the art Jonas Patch!

Sarah: Now I’m picturing a Boy Band Orchard. Free gallon of cider with each bushel?

CarrieS: You know, other than the hair, I like this one. Yellow isn’t my fav color, but at least it’s different, and I like the flowers. If only he didn’t have sort of a vacant expression, like he’s trying to see if maybe there’s some weed in those weeds.

The Grisly Grizzlies: Kneecap by Kim Fox. A veiny, shirtless man and a bear are roaring to the heavens while in some sort of rocky crevasse.

From Annette: OMG, it certainly looks like he got hit in the kneecap…or the nuts. Either way I’m pretty sure seduction isn’t on his mind.

Amanda: Should grizzlies be plural here? Methinks not?

Sarah: I’m doing a lot of existential pondering in how shifter/human psychology and awareness is written. Are they siblings of a sort? Are they aware of each other? Are they the same consciousness or separate? Does one have more control than the other? Do they exist as two beings in one body?

That would be a terrific plot, actually: a shifter psychologist doing research into how human/shifter consciousnesses coexist in different species/series.
I’ve now over-thought enough about this cover.

Elyse: Why the kneecap though? That’s so oddly specific.

CarrieS: Nothing about this cover is appealing on any level whatsoever. And yes, I too wonder about the kneecap.

Stealth Maneuvers by E.J. Towler. A shirtless man and woman are embracing in front of an American flag.

Elyse: I’m not a doctor but I don’t think the human neck is supposed to do that.

Amanda: Side boob alert!

Sarah: Her hand is alarming me. Is she going to remove his soul through his trapezius muscle!?

CarrieS: This cover makes my neck hurt.

Atlantis Glacial Tides by Allie Burton. The cover is in some secret underwater ice cave. A woman is in a gauzy pink dress at the lower right hand corner and a shirtless hero in jean capris is flying right toward her face.

Amanda: It’s gonna hurt when he crashes into her face.

Sarah: Well, they do have ice right there.

Elyse: This is like super discount Cirque de Soleil

CarrieS: Major bonus points for color and a sense of movement. Demerits for a sense of movements that make a collision painful and inevitable. Also…does he have a face? All I see is hair.

The post Cover Snark: U Pick Jonas Orchards appeared first on NeedaBook.


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