Cover Snark: Meet Bubbles

We hope you’re ready for Cover Snark!

Bubbles by Candace Evans. A buff brown-skinned man stands in front of a red car in an auto body shop.

Amanda: What the Goodreads description doesn’t mention is that Bubbles (the hero) is a werewolf.

Sarah: Bubbles the Werewolf!!!!

Amanda: Who is also an ex-con and is in a motorcycle club.

Sneezy: Double Bubbles, toil and trouble.

Foam and pout, like cheesecake wobbles.

Lara: Before I saw the name, I saw the shoulder. I’m not even sure what that muscle is called, but I’m pretty sure that muscle on top of the shoulder shouldn’t be square. Or is it a shadow?

Ellen: It’s a shadow but it’s an incorrectly shaped shadow based on where the light seems to be coming from otherwise…kinda looks like he’s got a baby alien gestating in that trapezius muscle.

Catherine: I’m still stuck on Bubbles the Werewolf, honestly.

Gruff Ass in Love by Sasha Burke. A man with his shirt unbuttoned and in a cowboy hat is tipping the brim in our direction.

Amanda: All the books in this series have an ass theme.

Bare Ass, Hard Ass, Gruff Ass.

Sarah: Gruff?

Amanda: Yeah, that’s a new one for me.

Sarah: Like, the crime dog?

Elyse: It sounds like a fungal issue to me.

Carrie: No. I’m not shaming y’all. If this book speaks to you, so be it. But no, no, no, no, no.

Sarah: Carrie, that was rather gruff.

Carrie: I say it like I see it!

Sneezy: Cheese Grater Ass

Lara: The tagline says “no euphemism”… and I might regret this, but I would like a literal photo of a gruff ass, please. Morbid curiosity FTW.

Ellen: Wait, which part are we supposed to take literally? That he has a gruff ass or that he has likeable rocks?

Catherine: It’s a pity, really, because it would be quite a nice cover without that title. And now all I’m thinking about is billy goats. Specifically, the three billy goats Gruff, Ass, and Love. Oh my…

The Lost Lords Bundle by Mary Jo Putney. A blonde-haired woman sits upon a pink, cushiony couch. Her dress is also bright pink, though it appears her neck has gone missing.

From Lucy C: Hello, this lady has no neck and I want someone to know that.

Amanda: That empire waist is doing her no favors.

Sarah: Duly noted, Lucy. No neck, AND bad photoshop.

Elyse: Remember when you’d pull the head off your Barbie and it never went on right again? That’s what this looks like.

From L: I’m still having a laugh at the woman’s photoshopped head.

Sarah: Looking at it again, it almost looks like someone stepped on her.

Carrie: The photoshopping is awful and so is the title – but I can I just say that every single time I try to be elegant I end up in that exact position – slumped over, legs sprawled around, dress all bunched up? I feel you, my poorly photoshopped sister.

Sneezy: Is anyone else creeped out by the dude lurking in the back? Why does he look so flat and…weird shaped? It’s like he’s a laser printed gingerbread man stuck onto the wall.

Lara: The poor lady has been turned into a reverse bobble-head… her head belongs on a much smaller person.

Ellen: For once a cover that is not improved by the inclusion of a head.

The Game Warden's Mate by A.M. Griffin. In front of a glowing fuchsia background is a headless man covered in tufts of dark fur. We don't mean chest hair. We mean everywhere-hair.

From Sandy: I’ve come across some covers that I wanted to send in the past but I couldn’t pass this one. If I have to look at that then others have to too. The Game Warden’s Mate is just a complete train wreck.

Sarah: What happened to this poor man?!

Amanda: Is this…a bigfoot romance?

Sarah: I don’t know. According to the line at the bottom it’s a “abduction sci-fi romance.”

Elyse: There’s not enough neck on that thing to justify the chest and shoulders.

Carrie: There’s medication for that, buddy.

Sneezy: I can’t decide if he looks like he’s wearing the most useless coat, the furriest stripper costume, or the most half-assed armor.

Lara: Did he hold still in the ocean for a real long time? Long enough for seaweed to make a happy home on his bosom?

Ellen: Why does his torso have a mustache? I feel like a mouth is about to open from his midsection and start talking.

Catherine: It looks like he’s got moss or something growing on his chest. And arms. That can’t be good for you.

The post Cover Snark: Meet Bubbles appeared first on NeedaBook.

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