We hope you’re ready for Cover Snark!
Amanda: What the Goodreads description doesn’t mention is that Bubbles (the hero) is a werewolf.
Sarah: Bubbles the Werewolf!!!!
Amanda: Who is also an ex-con and is in a motorcycle club.
Sneezy: Double Bubbles, toil and trouble.
Foam and pout, like cheesecake wobbles.
Lara: Before I saw the name, I saw the shoulder. I’m not even sure what that muscle is called, but I’m pretty sure that muscle on top of the shoulder shouldn’t be square. Or is it a shadow?
Ellen: It’s a shadow but it’s an incorrectly shaped shadow based on where the light seems to be coming from otherwise…kinda looks like he’s got a baby alien gestating in that trapezius muscle.
Catherine: I’m still stuck on Bubbles the Werewolf, honestly.
Amanda: All the books in this series have an ass theme.
Bare Ass, Hard Ass, Gruff Ass.
Amanda: Yeah, that’s a new one for me.
Sarah: Like, the crime dog?
Elyse: It sounds like a fungal issue to me.
Carrie: No. I’m not shaming y’all. If this book speaks to you, so be it. But no, no, no, no, no.
Sarah: Carrie, that was rather gruff.
Carrie: I say it like I see it!
Sneezy: Cheese Grater Ass
Lara: The tagline says “no euphemism”… and I might regret this, but I would like a literal photo of a gruff ass, please. Morbid curiosity FTW.
Ellen: Wait, which part are we supposed to take literally? That he has a gruff ass or that he has likeable rocks?
Catherine: It’s a pity, really, because it would be quite a nice cover without that title. And now all I’m thinking about is billy goats. Specifically, the three billy goats Gruff, Ass, and Love. Oh my…
From Lucy C: Hello, this lady has no neck and I want someone to know that.
Amanda: That empire waist is doing her no favors.
Sarah: Duly noted, Lucy. No neck, AND bad photoshop.
Elyse: Remember when you’d pull the head off your Barbie and it never went on right again? That’s what this looks like.
From L: I’m still having a laugh at the woman’s photoshopped head.
Sarah: Looking at it again, it almost looks like someone stepped on her.
Carrie: The photoshopping is awful and so is the title – but I can I just say that every single time I try to be elegant I end up in that exact position – slumped over, legs sprawled around, dress all bunched up? I feel you, my poorly photoshopped sister.
Sneezy: Is anyone else creeped out by the dude lurking in the back? Why does he look so flat and…weird shaped? It’s like he’s a laser printed gingerbread man stuck onto the wall.
Lara: The poor lady has been turned into a reverse bobble-head… her head belongs on a much smaller person.
Ellen: For once a cover that is not improved by the inclusion of a head.
From Sandy: I’ve come across some covers that I wanted to send in the past but I couldn’t pass this one. If I have to look at that then others have to too. The Game Warden’s Mate is just a complete train wreck.
Sarah: What happened to this poor man?!
Amanda: Is this…a bigfoot romance?
Sarah: I don’t know. According to the line at the bottom it’s a “abduction sci-fi romance.”
Elyse: There’s not enough neck on that thing to justify the chest and shoulders.
Carrie: There’s medication for that, buddy.
Sneezy: I can’t decide if he looks like he’s wearing the most useless coat, the furriest stripper costume, or the most half-assed armor.
Lara: Did he hold still in the ocean for a real long time? Long enough for seaweed to make a happy home on his bosom?
Ellen: Why does his torso have a mustache? I feel like a mouth is about to open from his midsection and start talking.
Catherine: It looks like he’s got moss or something growing on his chest. And arms. That can’t be good for you.