Cover Snark: Googly Eyes and More Bears!

We’re all back from RT17 in Atlanta, and what better way to celebrate the return to our own beds than with some Cover Snark!
Billionaire's Protest by Kira Blakely. A headless hero lifting up his t-shirt. His abs distinctly look like an angry face.

From Lils: This cover deserves to be in cover snark. Is that a face on his stomach?

Sarah: I think his belly button is singing the mah-nah-mah-nah song.

Redheadedgirl: …what he protesting? Unreasonable standards of male physiology?

Amanda: He’s protesting shirts.

Michael by Abbie Zanders. A shirtless hero with long flowing hair and aviator sunglasses.

Amanda: The hero looks skeevy to me with those glasses…WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, SIR?!

Elyse: Sunglasses at Night is stuck in my head now

Amanda: My mom had that single on vinyl and I would play it over and over again.

Redheadedgirl: Those sunglasses look like two different lens shapes.

Elyse: Omg I’m channeling Biden memes now.

Redheadedgirl: And he looks like a poor man’s Alex McLaughlin, who IS the poor man’s Alex McLaughlin.

Sarah: If you look at the white spots in his glasses as cartoon eyeballs, this cover is hilarious.

Amanda: Oh my god, Sarah, now I can’t unsee that.

Redheadedgirl: …oh shit

Sarah: He’s rolling his eyes HARD. At US.

The Last Leprachaun by June Calvin. A caped man is gripping a blonde woman's arms in some woods.

Redheadedgirl: I didn’t realize that leprechauns came in tall, but okay.

Sarah: Or with capes.

Redheadedgirl: NO CAPES.

Carrie: She’s all, “Eww, no, I don’t wanna look at your lucky charms!”

Amanda: I’m trying to figure out the fabric of those pants.

Primal Honeymoon by Olivia Harp. A many-abbed man standing behind a grizzly bear that appears to be on fire.

From Stef: This isn’t on Amazon so I don’t think it’s out yet aside from InstaFreebie.

I mean, it looks like the guy is about to bang the bear.

But wow.

I’m pretty sure I heard about that in one of those pharmaceutical ads where they talk about the side effects really fast for about 23 seconds straight.

“May cause bears to burst into flame before you attempt coitus; please leave all bears alone.”

Redheadedgirl: Yeah, don’t wait four hours if you dick turns into a flaming bear. Just go.

Sarah: “If there is any sign of bears or burning in your genital region, call your doctor.”

Elyse: Is this another bear sex cover? Didn’t we just have one??

Redheadedgirl: That was a polar bear. This is a grizzly

Now we need to complete the set. Brown, black, koala, panda…

Sarah: Koalas aren’t bears tho. They’re narcoleptic marsupials with chlamydia.

And also my college mascot – a women’s college – which makes me laugh so hard.

Redheadedgirl: Yes, that’s the joke.

CarrieS: Look, I’m just going to keep saying the same thing in cover after cover. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH BEARS. This is a safety rule. Don’t feed them, don’t come between a mother and a cub, and don’t fuck them in the ass. It’s very simple.

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