Welcome back to Cover Snark! Every so often, I need to reissue the disclaimer not to eat or drink while reading.

Heart Taker by Sasha Devlin. A man in an open shirt and very tight pants is doing a one-knee kneel. Those pants are about to split a seam.

Amanda: That stance is straining them jeans. One fart and those things are a goner.

Elyse: Those are some man titties. Yikes.

Sarah: That belt is doing so much work. So much.

Claim My Baby by Taryn Quinn. A shirtless dude is holding a baby against his shoulder, but they have the same skin tone so the baby is nearly impossible to see at first glance. The title is also in confusing script, making the book look like it's title is clammy baby.

Amanda: I did not see the baby at first


I thought he was holding his own chest.

Elyse: Whoa!

Sarah: Also: CLAMMY baby? Not good if the baby is clammy.

Elyse: It’s like the gorilla in the basketball game thing.

Sarah: Wat.

CarrieS: That’s not a baby, that’s a growth.

Amanda: How many babies are hidden in this picture?!

Thatcher by Kathi S. Barton. A shirtless dude with an open doctor's coat, a stethoscope and low hanging scrub pants appears to be at the bottom of a rocky cliff. A tiger is behind him.

Amanda: Dr. Nips, we have a code orange. A tiger is loose in our cliffside jungle hospital.

Elyse: That’s not the way you wear a labcoat, Thatcher.

Sarah: Or pants.

CarrieS: You put the genres all together and you mix ‘em all up…

Lovesick by T.L. Smith. Surprise! Another shirtless dude, but this one is wearing leather driving gloves and has his hand down his pants. The font of the title also makes it very hard to read. Lovesick? Love jick?

From Qualisign: Font problems: Love[d]ick.

Title problems: Lovesick as a caption for that cover?! Eeek.

Sarah: Is he walking into a decontamination shower that’s only knee-high?

Amanda: But that doesn’t even look like an S! It looks like Love Jick to me.

Sarah: Or a z? LoveZick?

LoveGick? Gick is a word I could use in many situations.

Elyse: I’m way more concerned about whatever is happening with his ribs.

Amanda: And he has a pair of tattooed eyes on his chest, which would be very distracting in a sexual situation.

Sarah: Indeed.

CarrieS: There’s no shame in masturbation but it does make me think that he’s more interested in himself than whoever he’s supposed to be in to.

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