It is the winter of our discontent, rather, THIS content. All through the night, the social media mavens scurry through their feeds to seek the traffic equivalent of a protein shake for an ailing Chartbeat. Suddenly, from the heavens, a boon appears. Like the three magi of yore, Drake, Nicki Minaj, and Lil Wayne have descended from the hallowed halls of Instagram, bearing the greatest content opportunity of all time. The unwashed masses of Rap Twitter have given their prayers and now rejoice at their presence. An opportunity, a chance to make new the world in the image of these three deities.
This is the first time Drake and Nicki have been seen together since the Great Meek and Drake Beef of 2015 supposedly destroyed their friendship/mutual infatuation. Naturally, it’s time for Noisey to do what it does best. Let’s wildly and foolishly speculate, folks!
Why does Drake still have a beard?
Seriously, why does Drake still have a beard?
Why does Drake wear sweatpants with zipper pockets?
If 2016 was REVENGE SZN, is 2017 RECONCILE SZN?
Did Birdman take this photo?
Do you think Drake asked Nicki to rap together in patois for a new song?
How many times did this group watch the video of Meek Mill falling down his stairs in the snow?
Is Meek Mill crying in the fetal position yet?
Why does Drake’s left hand look like it’s photoshopped?
What’s the probability that these three voted for Donald Trump?
Is this the first time these three have been in the same room since the “Bedrock” video?
Why the fuck does Drake smile like that?
Is Nicki yelling at Drake for being a failure with women?
Why does Drake always hunch his shoulders over when he throws up hand signs?
How does J.Lo feel about Nicki, Drake and Wayne making “I’m Real” Pt 2?
Did they finally decide that “Truffle Butter” was actually a song about poo?
Was it a shared love of woodgrain flooring and dim studio lights that brought them together?
Do Drake Nicki and Wayne share the same dentist?
Can we talk about the structural integrity of those lamps hanging on the wall in the back?
Did PND bring them back together?
Does this mean we can forgive Drake for collaborating with Taylor Swift?
Have Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift awkwardly smiled at each other across the studio yet?
What is that art deco Hennessy looking poster in the background about anyway?
Whose avant-garde shuriken-looking lamp is that?
Who smells the best?
Is the cameraperson still alive or did they disintegrate at Drake’s impossibly toothy grin?
What’s Drake’s favourite anime?
What kind of food do they have on their rider? No, really! Most of the questions on this list are dumb and not serious but we’re completely serious about this—what snacks are they reconciling over? Is there cheese?
What’s the name of this group chat?
:::extremely 2015 voice because this photo didn’t exist then so we’re making the joke now::: Is it too late now to say sorry?
Is that a tent behind them?
If we told you that Drake just finished playing that piano behind them would you believe us?
Will this be the catalyst that drives Safaree to make a dancehall classic?
Did they plan this for Black History Month?
Where’s Roy Woods?
Is their supergroup name Minaj a Trois?
Is Nicki thinking, “Here is a nice photo of me with a fan“?
If you look closely all together they have eight fingers pointed to the sky. Eight Fingers is the name of an underground criminal organization within the Re-Estize Kingdom that was taken over by demons. Which is all to say, are Drake and Wayne secretly promoting orthopedic hand surgery?
Do you think Lil’ Wayne liked Rogue One?
How long do we have before Drake gets a tattoo of this?
Which continuity of the multiverse does this take place in?
Do they unwind by watching Young Pope over blunts? Do they think Young Pope is the fall of prestige TV or self-aware genius? What was with that kangaroo in the Vatican amirite?
Why don’t any of them have reflections in the glass? Vampires?
How much money did they make over the last three years as they planned this photo because they knew we’d write a blog post about it?
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