Cover Snark: Electric Wang-aloo

It feels like ages since we’ve done a Cover Snark, right? In reality, it’s only been two weeks. As always, please use caution while viewing at work, in public spaces, or while eating/drinking.
Loving a Lush by Selena Laurence. Two people almost kissing, with the title in lime green font.

Amanda: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Apparently Lush is the band’s name in the book…

Elyse: The true story of me, Rich, and Kraken rum

Redheadedgirl: Don’t forget Carrie wants an empty bottle of the kraken.

Elyse: I can drink a whole bottle at RT

Redheadedgirl: I have faith in you.

I’ll help, if you need it.

Elyse: Elyse and RHG get drunk on Kraken, the podcast

Redheadedgirl: I’mma need some Coke, I can’t drink it straight.

Elyse: Me either.

Redheadedgirl:

A gif of two snowboarders high fiving
Anaconda by Lauren Landish. A naked, tattooed dude. There's a banner that reads Anaconda artfully placed over his no-no zone.From Pam G: Embracing the obvious, a titillating combo of visual and verbal

Carrie: Dude, if you have anything resembling an anaconda in your pants, literal or metaphorical, keep it away from my vagina.

Amanda: My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.

Carrie: 4 things that are a turn off:

1. A dude who can’t stop staring at his crotch.

2. A guy who implies that his penis won’t bite.

3. Comparing penises to snakes.

4. Gym veins.

Sarah: His anaconda? I don’t want none, or any, thank you.

Elyse: Ah Sir Mix-a-Lot, always relevant.
Stolen by the Laird by Eliza Knight. A shirtless scotsman in a kilt. He has a sword resting blade-edge down on his shoulder! One of his arms is also really oily and shiny.

From Reader Elizabeth: This guy looks like a drunken idiot at a costume party. Or a man who’s desperately trying to spice up his marriage. I’d also like to point out that they oiled his right upper arm and nowhere else.

Sarah: Why is he so shiny? But only on his upper arm? How does that happen?

Carrie: That’s a lot of teal.

His form is terrible.

Sarah: Wait, is he going to cut off his own arm? Is that shine some kind of problem that only a…rather dull sword can fix?

Redheadedgirl: Why is he duck-facing at the sword?

Sarah: Maybe he has to kiss the steel before he lops off his shiny arm?
Love and Angels by Kris Hack. The hero is an angel and he appears to be...purple. The heroine is situated further down and standing toward the side. From far away, the heroine's arm looks like the hero's wang. Oh...and there are lots of lightning strikes happening. Just because.

From Karen: I came across a cover that cries out for a Cover Snark! It’s best seen on Amazon by clicking the “Look inside” link. It may be just me, but it appears that his arm is attached directly to her breast. I tried to search to see if you had discussed it already but didn’t find anything in a quick look.

Sarah: OK. Not only is the cover a hot mess (he’s permanently on second base! Forever!) but look quickly at the smaller size.

THAT doesn’t look like her ARM, DOES IT…

Love and Angels by Kris Hack. A small version of the cover.

Amanda: The smaller size gives him an electric wang.

Elyse: I have so many questions. Why is his arm literally in her chest? Why are they being struck by lightning? Why is he purple? Is he not getting sufficient oxygen?

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